Waiting for the Ink to Dry

A series of journals describing the day in the life of Kelley Bright, an aspiring actress, director, writer and all around artist. Hiding and, more often, displaying unbecoming emotions at the most poignant times is my specialty. This should be interesting...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I don't think it is too much to ask for...

* a thank you now and then.
* a break from the norm
* a how are you doing today that sounds like you care
* clean crew members who are considerate
* nice customers
* Sunday off (like requested) so I can go to a grad. ceremony
* a less sarcastic, more helpful shift lead
* a decent appraisal from someone who matters
*more than 5 hours of sleep each night..
*Dinner (or at least something easy to make when I get home from work)

whatever. I guess one can live without...

Friday, May 05, 2006

Ponderings about dinner last night...

The salad was soggy.... The main lasagna was from a box and I could tell.... Tommy had third or fourth helpings before I got home...

But at 12:00 in the morning, after a 8 hours shift, it tasted like fine cuisine to me...



Wednesday, April 26, 2006


So everything is cancelled. It sucks. Hard work, money, all down the drain. I guess at some point you just have to let go. I made grades. I did the work I needed to do. I prepared. .... Its not as if I am heart broken... or even incredibly bummed. I actually feel okay, which is odd because I would normally be angry. I think I feel let down. I feel sorry for my cast members who did make grades, and the musical people like me who made grades. I love doing the musical project... but I would rather put on the show. I had a good part. Finally, I get one where I get to sing and act.... Oh, well. What can you do? I think I am going to take my cast out, assuming I can access my bank account. They deserve it. I deserve it. They also deserve to go onstage. But I can only give them dinner. :)

Monday, April 17, 2006

woe is my show

I had every intention of having rehearsal today. However, whe I woke up with my head pounding, my stomach aching, my nose drizzling and my voice nearly gone, I had to cancel. Michelle came over anyway to help me work on the wings. So I pulled all the stuff out, took a break, started sweating, and then it hit me. I was going to throw up all over her. I told her the situation, and she left quickly. Ten seconds later I threw up. And threw up... and threw up.
To add to this rancid, crippling feeling, we really needed that rehearsal time. But what can I do? I can barely walk to the bathroom to get a new roll of tissue paper. We just have to hit it hard tomorrow after school. I am not going to any classes, but I am going to hit rehearsal because we open in mere days.
Send a little prayer up for me because I would like to see my one act go on.
Tomorrow I turn 18. If I feel like this, it is seriously going to suck.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Blocking Blur...

Alright! We finally have this thing under way. It is so funny because of the all directors I am furthest along (save Nick’s set… I think he’s got one up on me on that). My cast and I spent a good five days in intensive blocking. Here is the reason: we are all leaving over spring break. The only day we have to do anything is the Monday before we return. So, I knew I had to be completely done with the cast portion of the show by Wednesday. Let’s just say it was fun and interesting.
So my first read through was fantastic. We all sat down, talked about the show, what I wanted, and how this was going to work. And then we read. So the reading was less than great. But I wasn’t super concerned; because I believed my cast could get there eventually. My biggest concern was the play coming off too “high school.” The way they were saying their lines was completely quad drama. But we talked about it, and everything seemed to be fine.
The next few rehearsals were all about blocking. GoSh! I am just excited thinking about it. We’ve been using Ms. K’s room because she is normally at school until about five, and we’ve been getting along really well lately. I know… weird. Anyway, we pushed back the desks, used one of her tables, and several chairs, and just did it. All was going fine, except the first day Jaylon and Sonya were so awkward with each other. He wasn’t being helpful at all. For instance, if she had to try and get him to move, like a hug or even walking with her, he would just not even recognize her efforts. I told him that as an actor, you are always acting. You have to respond. He finally got it. So I think I fixed that problem. Here is the problem with my blocking in the first unit: it looks cool, but would she really do that. Half of me says absolutely. It fits the moment and the mood. The other half of me says that most people don’t so that kind of stuff. Speaking of that, urgency is such a huge issue! There are a few times, where I need them to move faster, urgently, and they just don’t get it. I want to light a fire under them. I think it might be not having enough space to continue moving, or I don’t know… I am hoping that is the problem. Because then I would need to be creative in trying to solve this problem. And I feel lazy.
Okay so I stumbled into this really cool moment at rehearsal. Jaylon had forgotten one of his lines, and there was this big pause, a huge smile, and then a laugh through the line. It was perfect! It fit the show so ridiculously. The pause was hysterical. And it didn’t look like he had forgotten his line. We so put it in the show. It was great.
Line delivery has been challenging. They both like to end on higher pitches, not matter the sentences. And when I tell them to drop their pitch or register or whatever, they are so dramatic. It won’t come out natural because the drop is too significant/ dramatic. I know there is a way to make it work. That’s another thing I have to work on. I’ll give a note, or I’ll translate a line (i.e.: the line is “you sold the twin towers.” It really means “I have no idea, tell me.”) And then they’ll do it 100 times bigger than I need it. I want to say “you guys are portraying real people!” There wouldn’t be a problem if I could get them to tone it down after but I can’t. Once I correct it, it is corrected. It is semi funny, semi annoying. It isn’t too terribly bad or anything. Because I believe the show is still good.
The more serious part of the show needs work. A lot. I am not too worried. Everything is falling into place.
My favorite part of the process so far was Wednesday. Just don’t tell my cast. They had the giggles so bad. They would not stop laughing through all the serious parts of the show. It was hysterical. They just couldn’t do it. We spent like a half an hour trying to make them stop laughing. We were really not productive that day at all. But good news is we’re blocked.
Now does anyone know how to make airplane wings?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


UGG! I need moral support. And help. I need Philly to be over. Gotta go... think I have a bloody nose.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Washing my hands....

Another random picture for ya'll.
I tried to schedule a rehearsal again. That didn't work out so hot. Sonya said yes, and then changed her mind. Michelle couldn't come. Jaylon showed up. Too bad it was only him. It didn't matter anyway because Weber said I didn't have rehearsal after school on Friday. She changed her mind after Allen dropped the ball. I couldn't even go to my own play's rehearsal.
What I want to do is put the blame entirely on Weber. But I know that is wrong. It isn't her fault that Sonya ditched a rehearsal she could have gone to. It isn't her fault that Michelle is playing track. It isn't her fault Allen can't get his act together. This has little to do with Weber which is funny that I want to blame my little One Act problems on her.
This is why I feel the way I do: She chewed me out. If I had done something wrong, I would take it like a big girl but... I don't know. Girls are so odd. This is the reason I have mostly male friends. She put the blame on the entire cast for not making her aware of the fact that Allen was failing most of his classes. I have this to say:
a. I was under the assumption he was keeping his grades up for the One Acts. He has wanted to direct since he was a freshman. I thought he was pulling his act together for HIS show not hers... Looking back on this assumption, I wasn't thinking clearly. That isn't Allen-esque at all. He told everyone exactly what they wanted to hear, and darnit! I am so stupid. I do this all the time. I don't want to believe the worst of myt friends until it is right in front of my face. I am so stupid and blind. Like Jaylon- I was warned that he gave people trouble, but he was so kind, and nice. He told me that he was going to stay on track. It wasn't until I saw him in the middle of the quad fighting because "someone was talking at me" did I begin to see those issues he had. You would have thought me seeing him in the office two days after I cast him, waiting to talk to a VP would have set off the alarm in my head but NO.
b. It isn't my responsibilty to tell Weber about Allen's grades. It is Allen's. He didn't even try to keep his grades up. He shouldn't have wasted everyone's time. I didn't swim because of this play. I love swim season. Yes, I complain about it every year, but I love the environment and the people- and I miss it. I have spent eveyday after school for three hours blocking, rehearsing, and memorizing lines. I have had to kiss Nick (that should be enough said. J/K! You know I lvoe you Nick!). I had to dye my hair red, and we all know how much I loved my blond, black and red thing I used to have. I spent my weekends trying to get off script because guess what: we open in TWO WEEKS. He wasted my time. And I am upset. Especially because it is out of my hands.
The point is that Weber and I, and the rest of the cast, are all in the same boat. I think I am getting to the point where its all okay. I know no one is to blame entirely, and that it is a combination of a lot of things. I just got to take these emotions and put them somewhere else.
This week has not been good. At all. And I have to ackonwledge that I am coming off of a week filled with tension, and dissappointment.
Good news is I have decided to let the weekend carry me where it will. I woke up at eight and still haven't gotten out of bed. I read most of last night. I did have a full plate of stuff to get done, but I need me time. I need time apart from every who expects things from me. I can't do it right now. I don't want to please other people, I need to just be with Kelley. I have so much going on in my head, I just want to forget about them for the weekend, and have some down time and fun. It has been a while.
I was supposed to feed the homeless in SF last night, but the organization I go with cancelled and moved it to next week. I am almost glad for it... which I know is horrible because doing things like that is what I live for but I don't know if I could have given those people what they need. It is a lot more than a warm meal, and I don't know if last night I had it in me.
So, dear reader, I am going to flip over the pillow, pick up my book and sink away for the weekend. By Sunday night, I am sure Kelley will be ready to throw herself back in, but right now she is taking a break.